What would you do if cameras caught you like this?

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Parenting is hard.  Really hard.  We can follow all of the expert advice, be the best parent we think we can be and still we may end up with a child that has their own agenda.  Children come with all types of temperaments and personalities.  Even children who are laid back and generally easy going have their moments.  I for one have one very chill kid and one very difficult kid.  My youngest has actually had behavior therapy in the past to help with emotional dysregulation.   So I completely empathize with Charlize Theron and I am mortified by this article in OK Magazine.  I’m even more mortified by the comments from the so-called “expert” doctor.

I am all for positive reinforcement, attempting to remain calm and encouraging adults to use their words.  However, this doesn’t always guarantee a well-behaved child.  Furthermore, sometimes adults have their own emotions to deal with.  We are exhausted, running late or stressed out for a variety of reasons.  A child trying our patience only makes things worse.  As you can see from my post here, I give behavior advice all of the time and I understand the theories that the doctor in the article is using.  My issue in this particular circumstance, besides the grave invasion of privacy between a mother and child, is that the doctor’s comments are taken out of context.  She is not capable of interpreting a situation based on pictures alone.

So, Charlize, if you ever see this, we have all been there.  Even as a pediatrician I have been there.  I have been so frustrated with my child that I have wanted to drag her to the car.  I can only imagine what that may look like to an outsider but 10 years of this child wearing me down with tantrums, whining, defiance etc… can really drive me insane.  Unfortunately for you, outsiders everywhere are seeing this one moment of breakdown and judging you unfairly.  Ignore it.  You have a large sisterhood of mothers who have been in your position and know what you are going through.  Hopefully, this is not a regular occurrence for you and when things calm down you will go back to the calm and encouraging words that children need.  From the looks of this situation, getting the child out of the street (and harm’s way) and into the car to settle down seemed like the right way to go.

Author: DrJaimeFriedman

I am a mom and pediatrician here to dispense timely and accurate information about the health and well being of children.
Please see my first blog post, which explains how I got started.

Remember, this is not a substitute for medical advice and is not a private platform.

Enjoy!

2 thoughts on “What would you do if cameras caught you like this?”

  1. Dr. Friedman is the most open, caring, compassionate, encouraging, realistic, friendly, approachable, honest doctor I’ve ever encountered. She not only puts our daughter at ease and makes her look forward to seeing the doctor, but she puts us at ease. From nursemaids elbow emergencies to multiple ear infections and millions of emails in between, Dr. Friedman is such a gift to our family. This article, in particular, put those days in perspective for me when I just feel like a bad mom, for causing tears when all I want to see is smiles…sigh…it’s nice to read how normal that is…

    Thank you, Dr. Friedman, for being you and for sharing your wisdom, knowledge and expertise.

    Best,
    The Whye Family

    1. Thank you so much Kacie! You are so sweet and I adore your family. Thank you so much for letting me take care of your little girl. I’m so happy to be a resource for you guys.
      Take care!
      Dr. Friedman

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